Family Men
by SydandVaughn
Summary: Vaughn needs Dixon’s help, and Vaughn ends up helping Dixon by revisiting the past.


Title: Family Men  
Rated: PG  
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or it's characters. That privilege belongs to JJ Abrams, Bad Robot, Touchtone, and ABC. Song is titled Grown Men Don't Cry by Tim McGraw.  
Description: Vaughn needs Dixon's help, and Vaughn ends up helping Dixon by revisiting the past.  
A/N: The preview for tonight's episode brought me to this fic. So it isn't much of a spoiler, unless you haven't seen the preview. Please, please, please review.  
  
He walks nervously to the door and rings the door bell. He isn't sure this is going to work, but it is his only option. He takes a deep breath as the door slowly opens.  
  
Marcus Dixon?  
  
Dixon responds curiously. Diane walks up behind him, also wondering who is at their door.  
  
My name is Michael Vaughn, I work for the CIA.  
  
Dixon responds immediately so as to not give the wrong impression to either Diane or to this Michael Vaughn, Listen, I'm not going back to that-  
  
I understand, Vaughn replies, not willing to give up that easy, I'm not really here with the CIA though.  
  
I don't understand.  
  
Vaughn can tell there was no way to skirt around the issue and still convince Dixon to help him. And even though Dixon's wife is there listening, Vaughn feels that honesty is the only thing that will get Dixon to hear him out. Sydney is in trouble.  
  
Dixon stiffens. He is trying not to care, but they had been partners for such a long time that any threat to Sydney puts him at alert. Despite his better judgment, Dixon asks, What do you want from me?  
  
I need your help to get her back.  
  
Sydney can take care of herself. Dixon's anger and resentment comes out in full force. He is not going to give up his family for a liar.  
  
Vaughn sighs. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he has to keep trying. The CIA isn't going to help him, he has to convince Dixon to help. He tries not to think what will happen to Sydney if he fails. Vaughn will have to give Dixon the full story if he wants Dixon to trust him. Sloane has her. The CIA is refusing to extract her. Sydney needs your help.  
  
I can't-  
  
Sloane will kill her.  
  
Dixon closes his eyes and hears Diane gasp. Though Diane doesn't want her husband in the line of fire, she also doesn't want Sydney to be hurt. She takes a breath and steels herself, Marcus, you have to go. You can't let Sydney die.  
  
Dixon turns to his wife, searching her eyes. Are you sure?  
  
Diane gives a small smile to convince her husband that she'll be alright. She knows he'll see through it, but she also knows that he will see he has to go. Dixon smiles back, grabs a hold of her hand and squeezes. They both hope this won't be the last time they see each other.  
  
Alright Mr. Vaughn, Dixon replies, I'll help you.  
  
An hour later the two agents are in the air. They haven't said a word to each other since they left Dixon's house. Vaughn not wanting to push Dixon more than he has, and Dixon not completely trusting Vaughn. Their silence is starting to get uncomfortable, and Vaughn feels he should say something, anything.  
  
Thank you for your help, Vaughn says.  
  
Dixon looks over at Vaughn questioningly. He wondered what Vaughn's relationship to Sydney is, but figured it isn't any of his business. At least not anymore. Dixon decides to reiterate his condition to helping Sydney, Agent Vaughn, this is a one time thing.  
  
Vaughn nods, but doesn't completely understand. After a minute more of tense silence, Vaughn probes Dixon for an explanation, Can I ask why? From what Sydney has told me, and from what I've seen, you are a great agent.  
  
Dixon immediately responds, I also have a family. I will always choose my family over the CIA.  
  
This may seem like a dumb question, but why do you have to choose? Why can't you have both?  
  
Dixon sighs. How could he explain this to a man who obviously is young and only has his career. For several reasons, Dixon starts, mainly, I want to be there for my children and my wife. If I'm an agent I'll be on missions most of the time and away from them.  
  
Vaughn takes in the information, not sure if he should pursue the conversation further. But he was curious, and it was a long flight. How is that different from when you were working for SD-6?  
  
It's different because now my wife knows what I do, and she is scarred I'll be taken away from them. Dixon states, his voice raised. He takes a breath and looks down. He continues, softer now, And she's right, I've put my life at risk for the past ten years at SD-6, and it wasn't even for my country. I was actually making the world a more dangerous place. I'm tired of that world, and all I want now is to be there for my family.  
  
There are many agents that have families, Vaughn states. Vaughn was getting the feeling that Dixon was trying to convince himself that leaving the spy world was the best thing to do. Listen I know you want to be there for your family. But I can tell you want to help your country. Make this world better for your kids.  
  
Yes, I would like to do my part to make this world safe, especially for my children, Dixon conceded. But wouldn't it be better to be alive for my children?  
  
Vaughn looked down at the floor of the plane. An image of his own father flashed before him. Vaughn quietly responded, My father was an agent. I grew up idolizing him. Everyday he went to work, I would wonder how he was going to save the world that day. He was my hero, and I love him.  
  
Dixon immediately noticed the past tense Vaughn used. Clearly there is more to this man than he had first thought. Curiosity makes Dixon ask, What happened to your father?  
  
Vaughn takes a breath, trying to gain control of his emotions. When I was 8, a KGB operative killed him. Vaughn decides to leave it at that. Dixon doesn't need to hear that Syd's mother had killed his father. That wouldn't help their current situation.  
  
I'm sorry, Dixon replies. That must have been difficult to lose him, especially at such a young age.  
  
Yeah it was. Vaughn remembers being at his father's funeral, feeling both angry and sad. It had been a beautiful day without a cloud in the sky, and Vaughn was angry at God for that too. It should have been raining on such a terrible day. The flag had been draped over the coffin, and all Vaughn wanted to do that day was rip it to shreds.  
  
Can I ask you a question? Dixon asks.  
  
Vaughn shakes his head of the memory. He looks at Dixon and nods.  
  
Dixon isn't sure how to word his question, but he needs to know the answer. If you could choose between your father being an agent and losing him, or your father not being an agent and still being alive, which would you choose?  
  
Vaughn, not sure of the answer, decides to be realistic and avoids the question, Well, there is no guarantee that if my father wasn't an agent, he'd still be alive now.  
  
For argument's sake, lets say there was.  
  
Vaughn says. He pauses to consider the answer. He would do almost anything to have his father back in his life. It was amazing how much Vaughn still misses his father. He would love to share his life with him, get advice, watch hockey games with him. Vaughn has often wondered if his father would be proud of him. Vaughn has often questioned if his father would have wanted this life for his son. Vaughn sighs, knowing the answer. A tear, which had threatened to fall since the memory of the funeral, finally escapes onto his cheek.  
  
I would choose my father. If my father wasn't an agent, he wouldn't have been _my_ father.  
_  
I keep having this dream about my old man  
I'm ten years old, and he's holding my hand.  
We're talking on the front porch,  
watching the sun go down.  
But it was just a dream.  
He was a slave to his job,  
and he couldn't be around.  
So many things I want to say to him,  
but I just place a rose on his grave,  
and I talk to the wind.  
  
And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry.  
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry, don't cry_


End file.
